Chapter 3 - Not used to this

I fall in love easily.

I like to fall in love, it comes easily for me. If I find a man who manages to maintain my interest (and attraction) for at least a week, I'm all his. Never have I hesitated in the face of possibility, never, except for today.

I have a dear friend who agreed to marry me. Shortly thereafter we fell into each other's arms, and deeper into each other's lives. I left him for two weeks to go home. Upon my return it seems that things have changed.

In me, I have fallen for him, even though I swore I wouldn't. The two weeks spent at home were also spent thinking of him. I didn't mean to; it just sort of happened that way.

We are back under the same roof again and all I want to do is reach out, touch him, hold him, kiss him, and I do nothing of the sort. I sit there in awkward silence, and I hate it. I hate this feeling of being terrified to feel.

I tell myself to stop thinking, and just let the days roll out - go day by day.

Right now, this is all so confusing to me. I hope that in time the pieces will start falling into place...