Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Chapter 8 - What if...

Of all of the what ifs of my life, never have I wondered "what if I hadn't done that...." It's usually closer to "what if I had...."

Even then, there aren't many of those either. I do tend to just jump into the deep end.

But today, today is the day I ask myself, "what if I hadn't..."

What if I hadn't sent that text?
What if I hadn't taken that call?
What if I hadn't said yes?
What if I hadn't left the airport?
What if I hadn't kissed him?
What if I hadn't enjoyed the sex?
What if I hadn't fallen for him?
What if I hadn't stayed for so long?
What if I hadn't returned so soon?
What if I hadn't caught on that something was wrong?
What if I hadn't snooped through his messages?
What if I hadn't had the strength and resolve to be honest with him?
What if I hadn't had the strength and resolve to be honest with myself?
What if I hadn't ever taken off these rose-colored glasses....

And I think to myself, what a wonderful world.... all these lessons... all this learning... another man bites the dust.. so what? What a wonderful city, what a wonderful country, what a wonderful world....

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